Red Rock lament
Today, amid this beauty,
I am so frightened.
I jump out of my skin
at every sound.
I hear a tapping
and I think,
perhaps it is a lizard, seeking cold comfort
at the cool door windows.
I tell myself, do not be afraid,
do not give in to fears,
all is OK, all is fine,
just a sweet lizard.
But then, a soft knock
and this is not my imagination:
two large men shimmer through the glass,
hulking with hats.
I consider my murder,
the mess it would leave behind
— and I try so hard
to keep my places clean–
And then, as I open the door, I think,
what if it’s ICE?
Makes no sense for a white lady, maybe,
but it’s what comes to me, what I believe.
And then I think,
what if this is the end for everything
that was once hopeful,
once so beautiful.
What if this is the end for my neighbors,
for my strangers,
for myself?
For my country? I am so frightened here today.
Diane Carmony 